I have been doing pretty good at not crying until today

Momma’s birthday is tomorrow. This will be the second one without her. We came to town today to get a cake.

We stopped by to see my mother-in-law at the hospital. She fell and broke her hip on Sunday. They did surgery Monday morning. This is the first time I have seen her, because I knew that my grief was still just a little too raw.

Anyway, we walked into the hospital to check in.

Odd little coincidence…

The woman at the desk and I recognized each other.

I said, “Didn’t you…?”

She said, “Yes, and I remember you.”

She remembered my face because she was the same woman I saw for a month while Momma was in a different hospital.

I managed to hold it together until the surgeon came to talk about therapy and rehab.

As soon as I Googled the surgery, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom.  I cried until I was able to suck it up and wipe my face off.  That was easier than trying to explain.

Momma didn’t have the same surgery, but it took me back to the countless hours I spent researching and squatting in the hall. Isn’t it funny how one small thing can unravel the healing?

I’m not sure why it worked out that the woman at the front desk was the same one.

Especially the day before Momma’s birthday.

Maybe it was just a reminder that it’s okay to not be okay.

Today: I will cry

Tomorrow: I will celebrate with cake & Momma’s Left Foot.