You know the saying about “walk a mile in my shoes”?

That would be way less exhausting than living a day in my head!!!

So I’m not really sure when I realized that my brain works differently than others.

But for as long as I can remember, my mind has been loud. It’s like I have a whole-ass community running around yelling things at me constantly.

Try explaining THAT to someone who has no clue!!!

That leads you to getting locked up and put on meds!!!!

Now that I think of it…that pretty much explains my teenage years. 😃

Anyway, fast forward some years….

Dr. Google and I have looked up multiple personality disorder and schizophrenia!! None of it really fit though.

I just knew this couldn’t be normal and had to be SOME kind of disorder, right?

Squirrel note:

These rabbit holes led to hours watching every show on serial killers. (Yes, probably not the healthiest thing.)

I started calling it my squirrel brain a couple of years ago. Was easier than trying to explain.

TODAY THOUGH:

I found a word!!!!!!

Associative Thinking.

That sounds way better than Batshit Crazy!!!!

Although yes, I realize there is some crazy in there too. 😳

That was the entrance to the rabbit hole!

Now here Dr. Google and I are 75 searches and 5 hours later with a new dictionary full of words that explain my brain!!

11:30 PM

Squirrel: ADHD, associative thinking

Some other voices I need to name:

Dialogical Processing

Conceptual Thinker

Heart: emotional processing

Perimenopause Gangsta: protective perspective.

Then there is ME:

The Ring Master!!

I learned tonight that I have an interesting thought processing system!!! Complete with science-based theories and explanations.

So maybe I don’t sleep well, have a hard time staying on task, and sound like I talk in circles, but I’m not broken!!!

I just understand the world from a different—very exhausting—lens.